Mirari just had our spring weeklong tour presenting master classes and performing concerts at several universities and colleges in Missouri. We met, worked with, and got to perform for many smart, engaging, and fantastic performers and teachers! Obviously, this is one of the amazing perks of this job, but I’m also realizing, the place I find myself most fearful – the horn in my hands performance arena.
Recently, I got a tattoo. For those of you who know me, I’ve been thinking about this for several years now. I finally did it a few weeks ago and it has been a decision that I have not second-guessed and/or regretted, ever (for those of your who know me, this is also a big deal!).
I have been on this Fearless path for about 9 years now (WOW!). I’ve had ups and downs, highs and lows, and have experienced a myriad of emotions on this Fearless ride. Luckily, throughout this process I have made amazing friends and acquired an arsenal of Fearless resources all of which have helped me become a better performer/story teller when on stage.
For each performance previous to this week, I had my inspiration sheet, notes of encouragement on my music, countless phone calls to and amazing advice from Jeff Nelsen (THANK YOU!) and many other friends to get my mind in the “right” place - to get me in the zone. During this past week, I felt the symptoms of nervousness start to invade my body (of course, stemming from my own thoughts) as we sat down to start our first concert. My mind was filled with too many options. What if I can’t get my lips to respond because they are chapped, and I’m dehydrated, and tired from a long day of rehearsal? What if I can’t make it through this performance? What if I can’t get notes to speak? What if I freak out and am out of the zone? I had 95 “What If” options. As I took my first breath of the performance, I looked down at my left wrist and saw FEARLESS emblazoned on my skin.
It was an instant reset. I was immediately calm, focused, and ready to share music/stories not only with the rest of Mirari, but with the audience, as well!
Fearless training has been such an integral part of my life over these past 9 years, that I didn’t need a paragraph explaining what it was, what it entailed or have someone encourage me to do my best to know exactly what I needed to do. Fearless is something I am; it’s in my being (as it is for everyone). Fearlessness comes from within, not outside, myself. Just like you learn from your teachers, process what they say, put it into your own words, share it with others, and find out later, it is then your information to share and own, this experience was the same. Everything I need, I currently possess. Being Fearless isn’t about not experiencing Fear (nerves, shaky hands, unsteady breath, etc.) it’s about letting your Brave be the loudest voice you hear at that moment.
What would happen if we all let our Brave be the loudest voice in our heads? What would your world look like if you shared your Brave rather than hiding your Fear?
This week, I found my Brave. Not only did I find it, but I found the key to it, too! This key is now etched on my left wrist. I’ll never lose it, never have to second guess it. It is, and always has been, within me.
I have one option now, to BE FEARLESS. ☺